I received a text from my son’s school the other day. It’s from the summer program designed to give us parents ideas to discuss and things to do with our kids to keep them thinking and reading during the summer…but this one made me think of something else entirely.
If you didn’t keep score during a game, how would you know who the winner was? Would it change how you played the game?
How many different areas of your life did you think of when you read those two questions? It made me think of relationships, weight loss, & fitness. I’m sure it would apply to many more areas but really these were the first 3 that came to mind.
In regards to relationships, how much better would your relationship be if you didn’t keep score? This is speaking directly to me. I keep score. I admit it. I hate it about myself, but I do. I try not to, really I do, but it happens. And it usually causes a fight. If I didn’t keep score, if everything I did, I just did because I wanted to and didn’t expect anything in return, my relationships would be infinitely better. Likely with many people, but most definitely my husband. It’s something I’ve always struggled with. We both have. We are so much alike, born under the same sign, love to be in charge, both want to be right, are very passionate. When we are on the same side, these things are exponentially in our favor, but when we disagree, they can be devastating. How would it change the way I played the game of marriage if I didn’t keep score? Letting go isn’t easy for me, but really that’s what this question asks in my mind. How would I change? I would do things with an open heart, I wouldn’t expect anyone to return the favor, I would do things to make others lives easier and not think about if it made my day harder. That’s a tall order, but truthfully I would have to learn to let go of my expectations of others and just do things for my relationships because I care and I want to make them happier. The key to this is to do it with a joyful heart, and be happy purely because you made someone else happier. Maybe this one really needs to be one of my summer goals.
Next up is weightloss…what if you didn’t have the scale to measure your progress? What if you didn’t even have a tape measure to check your measurements? I think it would force me to rely on those non-scale victories (NSV’s) that are so easy to forget when we are stuck on the scale. We would have to rely more on the way we felt, both in our clothes, our energy levels, our hunger and thirst. How would it change the way I viewed weightloss? If it wasn’t an option to weigh or measure, I would have to focus solely on the choices I make. The foods I fuel my body with, the water I drank, and the exercise I did (not the number or the amount). I think bottom line we would all have to be happy with our current position, and use these things to get better, although we wouldn’t have the typical progress indicators to gauge that. We would have to base it on how we are feeling.
Lastly, is fitness. What if you couldn’t measure how many miles you walked or minutes you worked out? What if you could only rely on what you could do? A girl could get lost in the comparison trap (which is really what keeping score is) when it comes to fitness. I can’t run as fast as someone else, but that doesn’t mean I can’t walk or jog. Are things going to jiggle? Yes. Are people going to pass me? Absolutely. Does that mean I should sit on the couch? No. Unless you are an Olympic athlete standing on the podium, having just won a gold medal, there’s always going to be someone faster than you. It gives us someone to look up to, to strive to be, something to achieve. If we didn’t have the typical ways to measure fitness, maybe we would rely on the feeling we get afterwards, the feeling of accomplishment that we did something for ourselves,. The feeling of waking up the next morning with a little soreness in muscles we haven’t used in a while, and we find we like it. When you are starting out on the journey of fitness, both of these are pretty great.
Stop keeping score. Change the way you play the game. Make the best choices you can.